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See I told You So


SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.   FAULT:  Glass being held at incorrect angle.   ACTION:  Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM:  Feet warm and wet.   FAULT:  Improper bladder control.  ACTION:  Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM:  Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.  FAULT:  You've wandered into the wrong party.  ACTION:  See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM:  Your singing sounds distorted.  FAULT:  The beer is too weak.  ACTION:  Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM:  Don't remember the words to the song.  FAULT:  Beer is just right.  ACTION:  Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM:  Beer unusually pale and tasteless.  FAULT:  Glass empty. ACTION:  Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM:  Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.  FAULT: You have fallen over backward.  ACTION:  Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM:  Mouth contains cigarette butts.  FAULT:  You have fallen forward.  ACTION:  See above.

SYMPTOM:  Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.  FAULT:  Mouth not open or glass applied to wrong part of face.  ACTION:  Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM:  Floor blurred.  FAULT:  You are looking through bottom of empty glass.  ACTION:  Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM:  Floor moving.  FAULT:  You are being carried out. ACTION:  Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM:  Room seems unusually dark.  FAULT:  Bar has closed.  ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM:  Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.  FAULT:  Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.  ACTION:  Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM:  Everyone looks up to you and smiles.  FAULT:  You are dancing on the table.  ACTION:  Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM:  Beer is crystal-clear.  FAULT:  It's water.  Somebody is trying to sober you up.  ACTION:  Switch glasses with somebody else.

SYMPTOM:  Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.  FAULT:  You have been in a fight.  ACTION:  Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

IF YOU DRINK DON'T DRIVE.....................................DO THE WATERMELLON CRAWL


Beer 1
Beer 2

I hope I gave all of you a laugh....cause we all need one
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